Embracing difference with dignity
A Reflection on Inclusiveness and Interpersonal grace
Have you heard of this doha ?
“जो तुम घट में, सो ही ब्रह्मांड में,
जो पूजे हरि, सो पूजे नर में।”
(What is within you, is also in the universe.
One who worships the divine, must first see it in every human.)
At the heart of all human relationships lies the sacred question: Do I truly see you?
In modern workplaces, where team members are diverse, not just in skills, but in gender, background, values, and language, this question becomes the foundation of trust, collaboration, and respect. Yet, it is often in these differences that discomfort, misunderstanding, or subtle bias quietly creeps in.
Behaving with grace and respect toward team members of different gender identities and cultural roots is not just a matter of policy. It is a reflection of who we are as individuals, as leaders, and as organizations. It is a test of our ability to see the human beyond the label.
Let us explore what it means to honour difference without distancing, and to behave with the dignity that allows every colleague to feel safe, seen, and supported.
🌿 The subtle power of awareness
Many of us carry unconscious habits, shaped by upbringing, society, or lived experience, that influence how we behave around others. We may speak differently around women, make assumptions about someone’s skills based on their background, or unconsciously prefer people who “think like us.”
These subtle actions often go unnoticed by the one who enacts them but are deeply felt by the one who receives them.
True professionalism begins with awareness.
- Are my jokes inclusive, or might they make someone uncomfortable?
- Do I speak more during meetings when surrounded by those of my own gender or region?
- Do I give equal space and encouragement to all team members, irrespective of their identity?
Awareness is the first light. It allows us to pause and re-align.
🌿 Respect in speech, tone, and touch
How we speak, and how we don’t, is a reflection of the respect we hold.
When working across gender or culture:
- Use names and pronouns correctly and consistently.
- Avoid pet names or comments that seem casual but are actually dismissive (e.g., “dear,” “bro,” or “you people”).
- Maintain professional tone and boundaries in both virtual and physical interactions.
- Seek consent before offering physical gestures like handshakes, pats, or any informal touch.
These may seem like small things, but in these small things, respect lives.
Kabir reminds us:
“बोलि बिबेक विचारी के, घर का राखै मान।
मुख से मीठा बोलिए, जस घर का पान॥”
(Speak with wisdom and thought, uphold the dignity of your space.
Let your words be gentle – like the betel leaf, they sweeten every house.)
🌿 Curiosity over assumption:
It is easy to fall into the trap of assumption: “This person may not be comfortable with leadership roles,” or “People from that culture may not value assertiveness,” or “Women may not prefer fieldwork.”
Assumptions, even well-meaning ones, are not respect, they are barriers.
Instead, choose curiosity:
- Ask, don’t assume. “Would you be open to leading this project?” is more respectful than assuming they won’t.
- Learn about cultural practices, holidays, or communication styles without stereotyping.
- Invite input from everyone and make space for varied ways of expression.
Every person brings not just their role, but their rhythm. Listen for it.
🌿 Inclusion is not about being nice. It is about being fair:
Sometimes, leaders hesitate to give constructive feedback or high-level responsibility to someone from a different gender or cultural background, for fear of being perceived as unfair or impolite. But this can lead to another kind of exclusion, where people are silently sidelined, not challenged, not seen as capable.
True inclusion is when we:
- Expect the same standards, while providing equitable support.
- Create psychological safety, not protectionism.
- Correct with compassion, not condescension.
Respect is not about being overly careful. It is about being just, clear, and kind.
🌿 Break the silence around bias:
If you notice bias at work, whether it is an inappropriate remark, a dismissive tone, or an assumption based on someone’s gender or culture, don’t ignore it. Silence often signals approval.
But addressing it does not always mean confrontation. It can begin with curiosity and compassion.
- “Could we take a moment to reflect on what that comment might mean to others?”
- “Let’s make sure everyone’s voice is part of this conversation.”
- “How would we feel if someone said that about us or someone we care about?”
True leadership means stepping in gently but firmly when something feels off. It is about protecting the dignity of the space we share. Bias doesn’t always shout, it often whispers. But every time we choose to listen, speak up, or model fairness, we help others feel safer and more respected.
As Kabir says:
“बुरा जो देखन मैं चला, बुरा न मिलिया कोय।
जो दिल खोजा आपना, मुझसे बुरा न कोय॥”
(I went searching for the wicked, but found none.
When I looked within, I saw the shadow was mine.)
🌿 Create everyday rituals of respect:
Respect is not a grand policy, it is a daily practice. Make it part of your team culture by:
- Beginning meetings with a moment of grounding or gratitude.
- Encouraging team norms that celebrate difference.
- Including diverse voices in key decisions.
- Sharing stories, meals, and laughter, these dissolve boundaries.
Culture is not built through HR manuals. It is shaped by what is normalised in everyday behaviour.
🌿 Reflective Questions to Consider
- When have I made an assumption about someone based on gender or background?
- Do I treat all colleagues with the same level of openness and accountability?
- How do I respond when I witness bias in a subtle or overt way?
- How safe would a new team member feel in expressing who they are in our current culture?
- What’s one small behaviour I can shift today to make my space more inclusive?
In Closing:
Behaving respectfully with people of different gender and culture is not about political correctness, it is about spiritual maturity. It is about recognising the divine spark in every being. It is about embodying the grace we expect from others.
Let us build workplaces where difference is not merely tolerated but treasured. Where respect is not conditional, but constant. Where being human matters more than being similar.
At Kabir Learning Foundation, we believe that leadership is love in action. And love, at its heart, is inclusive.
Write to us at: [email protected]
Visit: www.kabirlearning.in
Let’s walk the path of respect, not just for policies, but for people.
